he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
