Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
