i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
it's like heaven, but drunker
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
