i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
worst night to have a conscience
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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