I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
