Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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