You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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