Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
