DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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