It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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