I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
