farters have to be the big spoon...
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
