Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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