I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
