I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you mean i was at the winter classic?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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