I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
That accounts for only three of the penises
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
