I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
