So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
