I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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