so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
