You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
