I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
