ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
