it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
