please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
