i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
