Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
