so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Enjoy the penises
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
