just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
