dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
