Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
