so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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