I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
