Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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