Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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