I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
