we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm like, not good at living.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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