Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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