Your face is a jimmy john
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
nutella sex= disaster
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
is that a dick in a sweater?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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