did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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