this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
