and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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