Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
