sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
