I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize