I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize