So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
