WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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