he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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