i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
honey bunches of taint.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
