I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
