Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
