I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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