Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
