yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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