making cat noises will not fix the situation.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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