If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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