So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Never joke about your clitoris.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
