I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
